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Hindrances To Effective Listening

Updated: Jan 12

Listening is one of the most powerful ways that we can receive knowledge from others. When we listen, we “pay attention to sound…hear something with thoughtful attention…and…give consideration.” Listening is more than hearing sounds. According to clinical psychologist Kevin Gilliland, PsyD, listening is three-dimensional, and “[p]eople that excel at work, or in marriage or friendships, are ones that have honed their ability to listen.” 1 Most of us think of ourselves as good listeners. After all, there’s no reason for us to think otherwise. But even good listeners run into problems listening effectively, from time to time.


Let’s examine some key hindrances to effective listening that may impact our ability to fully understand, process, and respond to what is being spoken.


Being on the defensive

Sophie had worked for weeks on her presentation, so when her boss, Mark, pointed out a few slides that needed improvement, her mind immediately began to evaluate the problem.

“It is not bad,” Mark said, “but these data points need more explanations. And the layout could be a little easier to understand." Sophie immediately crossed her arms and stated “I don’t see the issue. I followed the template exactly.” Mark paused, sensing her uncomfortable persona. “I’m just trying to help you do an excellent job,” he said, but Sophie was already processing his feedback as a negative connotation. Later, when she took time and thoroughly reviewed the slides, Sophie saw the issues Mark had pointed out to change. The data did need some clarification, and the layout was not explicit. Now, she recognized that her defensive listening had obstructed her ability to fully understand and evaluate the conversation. She realized the value of taking a moment to thoughtfully consider the message before reacting with a quick response. Remember, aim to practice a level of consideration and thoughtfulness before you become defensive with a quick response.


Multitasking

Multitasking has become a hallmark of modern life. The number of tasks we attempt to juggle in a single hour is astounding, particularly for those working from home. In the past, we could physically distance ourselves from the demands of home life during work hours.

Now, we're constantly immersed in our environments, able to see the state of our homes multiple times a day, depending on our schedules.


Consider all the things you try to fit into a single day. When did it become the norm to be so constantly involved in so many activities? It seems no time is sacred anymore—not mealtimes, not family time, not church time, not even rest time. We are constantly processing a stream of information.


Remember when businesses used to close on Sundays? Or when family time was valued, and resting at home was a given? Today, life often feels like a blur of simultaneous tasks—chatting on the phone while listening to music, browsing the Internet, and posting on social media.


But can we truly listen effectively and absorb quality information amidst all these distractions? Numerous studies highlight how multitasking can be a major barrier to effective listening, undermining our ability to engage deeply with the information at hand.


Sex stereotypes

I once attended a class where the instructor shared the widely cited claim that women speak more words per day than men. According to several self-help and popular science books, "Women use an average of 20,000 words a day, compared to the mere 7,000 that men utter."2 However, this stereotype oversimplifies communication differences and can contribute to misunderstandings between the sexes. As a result, men and women often struggle to effectively listen to each other, as they may be guided more by stereotypes than by an open, genuine effort to understand each other.


Habit of interrupting

The habit of interrupting others while they speak isn’t just poor manners—it may also be harmful to your health. I was surprised to learn that our inability to listen can actually affect the condition of our hearts. So, what’s the connection between interrupting and heart disease? Studies from several universities show that people who frequently interrupt conversations or constantly compete for attention are at a higher risk for heart problems. One study at Duke University found that people who interrupt are seven times more likely to get heart disease.”3 


This information offers an important insight into the impact of our listening habits. I encourage you to reflect on how you listen and make a conscious effort to practice respect and attentiveness in your conversations. By doing so, you not only improve your relationships but also contribute to better heart health.



Conclusion

We all can become effective listeners. However, habits like being defensive, multitasking while conversing, judging the value of a conversation based on the other person’s gender, and constantly interrupting the speaker can all undermine effective communication—and may even harm our health. Take some time to reflect on these barriers to good listening. By understanding and addressing them, we can make positive changes that lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships.


 
 
 

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