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Effective Listening

Karen Staten

Updated: Jan 12




As I made the final edits to my first book, I couldn't help but reflect on the many hours I had spent listening to and learning from others. Without my dedication to truly hear their insights, Let Them Say It might have never been written. I regularly met with a mentor to share my progress, and after each meeting, I made sure to listen carefully to their advice, suggestions, and recommendations. Failing to absorb this valuable information could have caused a substantial amount of time and financial setbacks.


In today’s world, it often feels like we’re not listening to one another. Everyone seems more focused on getting their point across than on truly hearing others. I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on what you hear throughout the day. Perhaps write down something you learned from an important conversation. Remember, listening and learning go hand in hand, with listening being the essential skill. Your ability to learn depends on your ability to listen effectively.


What is effective listening?

Effective listening “is an intentional effort to focus on the other person or agenda distraction free.” We focus because we want to “understand the other person—what they’re passionate about, what they love, where they come from, and ultimately where they’re heading.” In essence, effective listening is about listening with care and concern for the speaker.


Benefits of being an effective listener

Effective listening is an important skill that goes beyond merely hearing words. It’s about a clear understanding of the speaker’s message, emotions, and intent. Here are some benefits that you may experience:


  1. You enrich your personal growth.


We grow when we adopt positive attributes, habits, and attitudes toward ourselves and others. As you listen with empathy, you become more open to different perspectives and develop a deeper understanding of those around you. Also, you learn how to “slow down and be present in the moment.” Through this process, your sense of self-worth grows as you realize you have more to offer than just your words. “Sometimes the best thing we have to offer is a pair of ears willing to listen and a heart willing to love.” Effective listening can also enhance your prayer life. “We can pray with the intentional desire to listen…. In this same vein, to listen effectively in prayer we must be still…stillness and quiet are essential in prayer.”1


2. You build stronger relationships.


When people feel genuinely heard, they are more likely to feel connected to you. This sense of being understood fosters trust and deeper, more meaningful bonds, whether with friends, family, or colleagues. Over time, these relationships evolve into more supportive, compassionate, and resilient partnerships, enabling everyone involved to face challenges together and grow stronger in the process.


3. You say less, but when you do speak, your words carry more weight.


“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20 NIV). When you listen first, you will naturally speak at a slower and more thoughtful pace. This creates an environment where others are more likely to listen to your words with empathy and consideration, valuing the wisdom in your delivery.


4. You improve your chances of success.


I once shared a suggestion with a local bakery about how they could boost their sales. While picking up an order, I noticed their boxes lacked branding, which meant that customers who enjoyed their pastries wouldn’t know where to buy them again I suggested they add their company’s logo or branding to the packaging.


Months later, when I returned, I saw that each box now had a sticker with the company’s branding. The bakery could have ignored my suggestion, but instead, they took the time to listen, consider it, and implement the change. This small adjustment could help them attract new customers, demonstrating how effective listening can lead to positive outcomes.

5. You gain wisdom without having to make others’ mistakes.


One way to grow is by observing the lives of those around us. Every experience, no matter how small, offers a valuable lesson. Witnessing others overcome challenges reminds us that we too can face and conquer any obstacle. It builds confidence, knowing that if they can overcome difficulties, we can too!


Conclusion

Effective listening requires effort, but I hope you were able to gain insight into many benefits. Each new day is an opportunity to listen, learn, and grow, using every experience as a stepping stone toward becoming a better version of yourself.


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